Batman meets Deadpool
by juankilomo
Summary: Batman is in his eternal fight with the Joker, this time a super-idiot comes to the city, Deadpool, and it surely wasn't in his plans help the dark knight to catch the clown, but with the current events he has no choice.


There was a place called Gotham city, where the crime rules and a dark knight patrols the streets, but now a new visitor is going to make trouble in the city.

"Not this time Batman" Joker said while he was escaping in the helicopter.

"I can't reach him from this distance, my hook won't get the helicopter from this distance" Batman was disappointed of his performance.

The Joker have escaped from Batman with a deadly weapon, this time is for real, the things could change drastically. When Batman arrived to the cave Alfred was standing next to the computer and told him "I think you like to see this master Bruce" showing a security camera film on the screen, "I was searching for clues of the location of the Joker."

In the headquarters of a gang there was an unknown face, someone with a mask, a red suit and a lot of weapons, two swords and guns, the man was trying to steal money from them, the reason is still a mystery, but Batman have never seen a person with such abilities, it was like the guns didn't affect him at all, but then a man from the gang got a bazooka and fire it right to the head, and it didn't miss, now the man was lying on the floor without head, that was the end for the mysterious fighter, then the gang threw the dead body to the outside of the warehouse.

As Batman was going to get some sleep when Alfred called him again "¡Sir! he got up" he said very impressed and shocked by what just happened.

"It can`t be Alfred, he has no head." Said Bruce.

"Just look sir." Alfred said.

Bruce approached to the screen and what he saw shocked him, the "dead" man was on his feet again, and now he was more excited than before, he was like preparing for a war.

"I'm alive mother*****, and now I have a huge headache." Deadpool shouted as he walked back to the warehouse.

Then he killed every man in the gang and get out with the money. Now Batman has his attention on him, he has to know who or what it was this guy with red suit, maybe he could use his abilities to fight the Joker.

Three days later Batman was chasing down the Joker when he found something unusual, there was no evidence of the Joker, no trace, no clue of the mad clown. But what he found instead was the chimichanga's lover Deadpool, in an abandoned house full of rust and destroyed things, he appeared seated in a throne and eating a taco, he looked very relaxed, then Batman asked him "Hey, I've seen you before, great performance robbing these gangsters, can you tell me your name?"

"It's Deadpool baby, what do you need Dracula?"

"I think that I can use your abilities to take down a bad guy."

"Yeah? I can do it but what I get from this small hunting?" Said in a mocking way.

"It's not so small, you'll be famous and I think you have more potential than this, robbing little gangs, you could be my helper."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang in there, when did I tell you that I want to chase some shitty villain, the thing is, I don't like to have someone to tell me what to do."

"So, tell me what you like." Said Batman very annoyed.

"I want to be free, doing what the hell I want."

"Ok, fair enough, but in this city is more easy to get killed if you keep robbing gangs and killing people."

"Second mistake, I can't die."

Then a silence stays in the room, Deadpool told his story to Batman, who was really surprised to meet an immortal being, but when Batman was offering a pact with him, Deadpool said "Well then, I'll help you if you can beat me in a fight, I know you can fight and if you're half as good of what you say, maybe I can take part in this criminal hunt."

"it's okay, prepare to be beaten."

"I'm always prepared, what are you waiting for?"

The fight starts and both have incredible fighting skills, the fight lasted hours, but as the time passed Batman noticed that Deadpool wasn't hurt at all, so he stopped "Aargh, I think I'll give up now" said Batman, he looked tired.

"But why, it was just the beginning, the warm up."

Batman obviously was not surrendering, when Deadpool was off guard he throws a flash grenade to stun him and take him down.

Batman use the situation in his favor, he throws Deadpool to the ground and said "Now it's time to keep your promise."

"…" he looked at Batman and then laughed "Ok, this is not the way I was expecting but it's enough for me."

Batman has a new helper now, one that it's not as the usual, the orphan kid with special abilities, this one is more like a rare man with a special skill, the immortality.

The mission: capture the Joker.

Batman was in the cave searching for a trace of the Joker, when Deadpool interrupted him "YO, Batsy, you're never going to find him this way, if you want a criminal think as a criminal, if you're a wanted criminal, and the authorities are behind you, the minimum mistake could lead to trouble with authorities."

"Oh yeah? then tell me where you'd find him, smart ass." Batman was an expert in tracking people but the Joker didn't left tracks this time.

"Let the teacher work" Before joining the dark knight, Deadpool was a mercenary, his work was to catch criminals, that and eating Mexican food.

He triangle the positions where the clown had attacked, but Batman said "Those are the positions of the attacks, not the positions where he stays."

"Ah, God please give light to the blind, listen man, all locations of the attacks are a pattern that guides us to his hideout."

Then after knowing the exact position of the Joker they start the hunt. The location was an abandoned toy Factory, called "Keystone steam shovels and trucks.", when they got in all the lights came on and a huge bulldozer with a similar face appeared driving it, the Joker was expecting the visit, so he was prepared with all sort of pain machines.

"Well, well, look what we have here, the flies fell into the spider's web." Exclaimed Joker.

"Hi there, my name is Wade and I'm here to sell this incredible product." Deadpool said with a funny tone.

"Look now, Little kid, go away while I take care of your leader"

"He is not my leader, he is my partner, right Brucey?"

"…" Batman then looks angrily at Deadpool.

The Joker now know the real name of his archenemy, now he has the power to destroy the identity of Batman.

Batman "Great, child, now I have to deal with someone who knows how to destroy my identity, people will be on me all the time and many of my enemies will know how to use this against me, the people I care will be in danger thanks to you." in the face of Batman there was a Deep fear.

"Sorry mate…" Deadpool said very regretful.

Then the fight starts, this was a crucial battle against the man who could destroy life as Batman knows. The Joker has advantage, because if they take him to jail he will tell the truth and if they kill him that will be against Batman's values.

In the middle of the fight Joker has Batman against the Wall and he was about to kill him but something makes him stop, a bullet went through his head, he collapsed into the floor and Batman got up "Why did you did that, this is not the way to do it, my plan was to keep it captive in the cave, now I have a dead body and something uresolverd, how I am supposed to find the weapon he stealed."

"This is not your way, it's mine." Indicates Deadpool as he walks away from the scene.

"This will make you a criminal, you know that?

"I was a criminal since the beginning, we had a great time together Batsy, but it's time to leave, I have more business to resolve before I go to my home."

"Yesterday you were in the path to become a hero, and now you are a villain, how you can be like that, I will chase you and when I catch you, because I will do it, I will…"

"Shut up man, the next time we see each other, I will bring some friends and we will have more adventures like this one."

Batman barely smiled, he knows Deadpool is good but is in the wrong path. "Sure mate, see you later."

End.


End file.
